Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize