Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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