Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
