just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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