I just made out with a guy for $7.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
