I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
