It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So much rum. So many feels.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize