Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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