youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
