i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
