were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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