Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i out mim tonsoeep
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
