That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
