Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize