Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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