Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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