i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
