Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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