He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
