I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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