In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
