WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
