dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
