Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
