question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
