I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
