There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
