the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
