All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize