i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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