I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
