Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
