I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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