last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
