6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
