Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
