Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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