I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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