What did we do last night that was yellow?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
