Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
