I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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