john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize