even my farts smell like vagina
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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