My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
