i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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