is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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