I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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