pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
