I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
