Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
