She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
