My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
