Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
