Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
