I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
