u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize