I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
