Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
