I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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