bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
