Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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