how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize