I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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