I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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