we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
