my shit smells like andre
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
