Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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