You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So squirting runs in the family.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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